In Search of Discipline

The Rewarding Power of Follow-Through

After writing my first ten essays, I came up with the idea of putting together a coffee table book of 52 essays, one for each week of the year. It felt like a worthy challenge and a way to track the evolution of my thoughts. While this was not the first big idea I’ve ever had, and certainly won’t be the last, I knew it would require a serious commitment if I actually wanted to finish it. That meant writing every single week, even when I didn’t feel like it, and writing through good weeks and bad. This proved to be a remarkably educational endeavor, teaching me to focus my creativity on putting thoughts into words, rather than letting them dance rent-free in my head.There were weeks when the words came easily, and weeks when they didn’t come at all. Have you ever needed to come up with something creative on the spot and just couldn’t? Maybe you’re one sentence away from finishing a project, or one sentence away from even starting it, and the words just won’t come. Whether you’re staring at a blank page, an empty canvas, or a blinking cursor, it happens to everyone. What I’ve learned is that creativity becomes a lot more consistent when you give it the time and space to show up. It’s not something you can force, but it does tend to reward discipline. When you build the habit, creativity begins to seek you out.There were some days when I had nothing to say. I’d stare at my screen and wonder if I had already used up all my good ideas. On those days, I didn’t write because I was inspired. I wrote because I said I would. And strangely, some of those essays turned out to be surprisingly meaningful. On days when I struggled to write the first sentence, I patiently waited for the first real emotion to pass through me, grasped onto it, and worked to mold it into five hundred or so thoughtful words. A friendly exchange with a janitor led to "Harvard vs. Harvard," being reminded of my birthday sparked "Personal Boardroom," a long day at work turned into the "Boss vs. Leader," and so many other essays were brought about by reminding myself of what I experienced that day or week. Each week, the task of turning emotion into structured writing reinforced an inquisitive way of thinking built around self-reflection and a deep desire to never stop learning.Over time, the habit of writing each week became more than just a creative exercise. I can hardly put into words how much I’ve learned through this process. I’ve come to better understand the way I interpret the world and learned how to more gracefully turn my thoughts into something clear and coherent. Writing these essays each week has come to mean more than calming my mind or entertaining whoever happens to read them. I’ve realized that the more clearly I write, the more I’m able to better the lives of others. That could mean making someone laugh, helping them think more deeply, or prompting them to reflect on their own experiences, relationships, and opinions. All of this thinking has truly humbled me. The more I think, the more the known unknowns seem to multiply, reminding me how small we all are. But despite our smallness, in the grand marathon of life, if we’re able to better the life of even a single other person, that is as worthy a cause as any other.Looking back now on the past year of publishing weekly, I am tremendously proud that I followed through. There were at least a dozen times when I finished an essay on Saturday night, barely reaching the deadline I set out. Despite that, each time I chose to keep going. I think back to the person I was when I started all of this and mentally shake my own hand, telling myself that I am, in fact, good for it.I sincerely hope that in reading these essays, you have seen how consistent small steps can lead to real growth. I hope that you have noticed the evolution of your thinking, alongside the growing conciseness and weight of my writing. If this project has taught me anything, it is that discipline does not guarantee greatness, but it does guarantee growth. That is a lesson I will carry with me for the rest of my life.From the depths of my heart, thank you for reading a year of my thoughts. Here’s to many more.