Would You Buy Yourself a Drink?

Thoughts on Self Reflection

Picture walking into your neighborhood bar after work. The familiar bartender nods as you settle onto a stool and take a gander at the happy hour menu. Despite the bar being nearly empty, someone approaches and chooses the seat right beside you. You look up only to realize it's you.Not the carefully curated version from photos or the board room, but the humble, honest, and the open-book version of yourself. This version of you is unfiltered and is the one who has his elevator pitch nailed down. He’s tells stories with enthusiasm, shares thoughtful observations, and genuinely tries to listen more than he speaks. Before the first round is even poured, ask yourself if you would introduce yourself with a warm hello, or turn inward, annoyed that someone dared to sit so close? Beyond the greeting, would you find yourself intriguing enough to  smile, and say, "Let me get you a drink?"We all serve as mirrors for others in our lives. When someone talks to you, they see themselves reflected in your reactions. You can be engaged and curious or distracted and indifferent. These reflections accumulate over time, shaping how people understand their own mannerisms and communication style. Like athletes watching film, the goal is to recognize patterns and identify where to improve. When you start to recognize the distance between how you mean to come across and how you actually do, you can begin to change your actions.Small adjustments compound like interest on a wise investment. When your phone buzzes during conversation, leave it alone. When someone shares something they're excited about, ask questions instead of immediately relating it to your experience. The best of friends can let silence fill the air sometimes to allow each other's words to fully settle. These minor changes transform how people view you. You become someone others seek out rather than politely tolerate.I'm not saying you need to record your conversations or spend more time in front of a mirror, but rather that it can be beneficial to take time to shift your perspective. Instead of viewing yourself through your own lens, try to see yourself not as a reflection in the mirror, but as the mirror itself.Flashback to the bar with yourself and take note of how you greet the bartender, how you greet yourself, and whether you enjoy the conversation with yourself. Perhaps there are versions of you from other times in which you would not even say hello, let alone buy them a second round. You may not even recognize a certain version of you. I'm working to be the best version of myself and am proud to say that I would buy myself a drink. Today's version is a work in progress with a clear direction and is no doubt someone worth having a conversation with. Every interaction offers you a chance to be the person you'd want to sit next to.